Coming Back to Life: Pain, Guilt, Withdrawals and Healing

It was only few weeks ago, I felt like I was living in someone else's body. Having gone through weeks of  extreme pain, which led to brain fog, having a short fuse, feeling tired but wired from adrenaline, I wanted the old me back desperately. I was grumpy towards my kids, plagued by nausea, night sweats, and insomnia. It was a wild ride, and it definitely wasn't the "me" I knew. Has this ever happened to you?

The Back Injury

You see, my journey with back- pain began twelve years ago when I injured my back during a CrossFit session. Adding to that, a boating incident a year later led to two bulging discs and a compressed nerve. 

It was time to say goodbye to high-intensity exercise and embrace the world of yoga. I managed the pain for over a decade without much medical intervention, until the first of January this year, when I inadvertently tweaked it – "Happy New Year," indeed!

I relied on gentle movement, ice baths, my trusty Shakti mat, calming breathing techniques, and the occasional painkiller to get by. After a few weeks, things seemed to be improving.

 Until March 20 (2023) when the pain returned out of nowhere. It hit me like a freight train, and on the 21st, I found myself admitted to the hospital after nearly fainting from the agony.

During my four-day hospital stay, I endured pain management, imaging tests, and even a CT-guided nerve root injection. I returned home with a bag of prescription meds that seemed larger than a show bag.

Despite the hectic journey, I managed to soldier on, and find my equilibrium again sharing my love for yoga, playing with my kids, and serving clients.

 It hit me like a tonne of yoga bricks

Then came September 4, and I was back in the hospital, only this time, it was even worse.

I hadn't imagined it could get any worse.

I underwent nerve root injections and was put on opioid medication oxycodone, which I relied on heavily to manage the pain. Mornings became a battleground, even with the medication. It was a mental challenge, to get out of bed as it escalated the muscle spasms and pain tenfold, but my breathwork techniques were my saving grace.

My two wonderful boys were at home with their dad, I missed them, and I was struggling to get out of bed, even while on the strict regimen of pain meds. Another nerve root injection followed.  I had another “show bag” full of  meds - opioids, Diazepam, Meloxicam (mobic), and more to take home which was a week later.

These meds became my security blanket, yet at the same time I was eager to be rid of them.

The longer you’re on them the more the body gets addicted.

I decided to start weaning off the opioid meds a week after I got home, with my GP's guidance, and it wasn't an easy journey. She decreased my dose, and a week later I decided to rip the bandaid off and go cold turkey.

 Cold Turkey Withdrawals

I experienced severe nausea, diarrhoea, chills, hot flashes, sweats, and insomnia. Those first few days were the worst, especially with a two-year-old running around.

 I felt irritable and disconnected from my family, Paul was doing almost everything and I felt so guilty, which was even harder than the physical symptoms.

Finally, when the opioid withdrawals subsided, I was still grappling with night sweats and intermittent sleep. One morning, I woke up in what felt like a panic attack setting in. I've never had a panic attack, even after having major surgery for removing a massive tumour or being in an armed hold up. I knew my adrenals must be wired so then I spent the whole morning doing calming techniques to keep me afloat. 

It was a sensation I'd never experienced before. 

My body had been through so much, and it was clear that it needed some extra support.

I visited a local health food store and received guidance on supplements to support liver detoxification and immune health. One product, NAC-PLEX Revive, provided much-needed relief from the panic sensations and anxiousness all from an overwhelmed nervous system.

But then, deep fatigue set in. I did ice baths every few days, which provided temporary relief, but the fatigue persisted.

 I described it as feeling like my body wasn't receiving energy, like it was clogged. A visit to the GP confirmed low iron levels, which I traced back to the medications I had been taking, which have been known to deplete essential nutrients such as iron, Vitamin C, Potassium and Folate.

 Good Bye Coffee it was Great while it Lasted

I made the bold decision to give up coffee, as caffeine can inhibit iron absorption, and my intuition told me my adrenals were shot. 

Detoxing from caffeine was a breeze compared to opioid withdrawals. 2 days of feeling crappy and I was over the hump. I journaled and meditated to guide me on the path to recovery.

To regain my vitality, I ramped up celery juicing, increased my fruit intake, and embraced the Medical Medium's Heavy Metal Detox smoothie. I also minimised processed and animal fats, gluten, dairy, and, of course, caffeine, all in the aid to nourish my liver, calm my overstimulated nervous system, and reignite my soul.

A Chance Encounter 

A chance encounter with a cheerful Englishman at the health food store led me to medicinal mushrooms as a pain relief solution. He shared his incredible journey from being addicted to painkillers for eight years to discovering the healing power of mushrooms. I tried Lion's Mane powdered mushroom and was astonished by the pain relief it provided.

Drug Free - Caffeine Free 

Now, I can proudly say that I am drug and caffeine-free. My vitality has returned, and I experience a sustained, gentle flow of energy throughout the day. The night sweats are gone, and I sleep like a baby. 

I am happier, calmer, and feel like the mom and partner I want to be, even if my house is still a bit of a mess.

I share this journey for anyone feeling out of sync, battling mood swings, energy fluctuations, and fatigue. Here are my five tips for coming back to life:

•    Go to your GP and get tested to understand your health baseline.
•    Embrace whole, natural, and preferably organic foods to nourish your system (avoid processed foods, they drain your system)
•    Consider juicing and/or celery juicing for added support.
•    Practice calming meditation and breathwork (see Radiant Relaxation Program Below)
•    Seek the right supplements to support your healing.

As I wrap up this chapter of my journey, I'm excited to share that I've just finished recording the seventh module of my Mindful Eating, Mindset, and Metabolism Mastery online course.

I can't wait to share the wisdom that has been a lifeline for me with all of you.

Back to life, back to me.

Larissa xx

P.s Thank you for all of my current clients who messaged me and followed up on my progress while this was all unravelling. I will be forever grateful.

Want to Create More Balance and Calm? Check out the Radiant Relaxation Library HERE. Learn short yet powerful practices to up - level your level of calm and down level the chaos in your mind and body. Promote balance and Healing.